#Old smorz cereal movie#
Much like Godfather III, this movie never happened. That is, I’ve grouped the cereal choices by Rocky films from worst to best. Ray Lewis, via Wikimedia CommonsWe also have a new ‘Rocky’ style ranking system. You’re better off scooping marshmallow fluff onto some Golden Grahams. The Breakdown: Gooey Hershey’s-esque chocolate can’t save this cereal from its honey draught and marshmallow overload. They certainly don’t pass my personal test for a good s’mores snack-the patented “Do They Taste Like Ritz Bits S’Mores?” challenge.Īnd yes, I do watch this commercial every darn time I hear the word “s’mores.” There’s no touch of honey in the graham, no vanilla in the marshmallow, and just not enough chocolate in them altogether. Poor Guy.īut the truth is, while parts of it are good, Krave S’Mores just lacks too much. I bet all the other s’mores cereals make Krave S’Mores fetch them coffee. It seems there’s a pretty well-defined “S’Mores Cereal Hierarchy” in place, and Krave S’Mores finds itself wallowing in squalor at the bottom of the totem pole. And wait, S’Mores Jungle Party is nothing compared to the legendary (but long discontinued) S’Mores Crunch! However, Smorz also can’t compare to Madagascar S’Mores Jungle Party. So maybe the petitioners and Rickroll-recipients were right: Krave S’Mores really can’t compare to Smorz. It’s a tragic betrayal worthy of Shakespeare: Julius Caesar in particular. Maybe the comparisons to Claudius (or at least Benedict Arnold) aren’t unfounded, because the treacherous and jealous marshmallow overwhelms its tasty brethren with its excessively fluffy, one-note, and slightly cloying sweetness. The chocolate, too, has its Fudgiscle-ness made even more Fudgsicle-y, as the added milk mimics that treat’s ice cream innards.īut it’s not all good in the milky hood. The thirsty graham shells suck up the milk, and they take on a nice “milk-dunked cookie” texture and taste: doughy, golden, and sweet.
Just like how I roast a glass of milk over the fire before every s’more (wait, you guys don’t do this?), I add some milk to my bowl of mini s’mores, too.
Krave isn’t made to be eaten dry, though. I just wish there were more of it with how chintzy Kellogg’s is with the chocolate ribbons, you’d think unadulterated fudge essence costs more per ounce than printer ink. It’s milky, creamy, and probably made from 100% pure Fudgsicle extract. Meanwhile, the chocolate is the cereal’s standout star. The marshmallow is very sweet and sugary, but it doesn’t have the sticky vanilla touch of, say, Jet-Puffed or Stay Puft. Once I mine through several layers of raw graham ore, I reach the mythic chocolate and marshmallow core.
#Old smorz cereal cracker#
Unfortunately, the pieces lack the buttery honey kiss of a genuine, s’more-worthy graham cracker or bowl of Golden Grahams. It’s hard to describe the intensity of this cereal’s graham-iness, but I will say Krave S’Mores is right up there with the inventor of the telephone and the childhood nickname you gave your grandma.
#Old smorz cereal full#
Munching the pleasantly golden pillows, they have a strong graham flour base, chock full of sweet wheat bran and a touch of browned sugar. However, dissection reveals that their larger size just means a denser shell instead of more filling. Maybe the pudgy little buggers just cannibalized all the Smorz back in 2013, forcing a three year shortage. Somehow.īut do Krave S’Mores deserve my “Pedro’s cousins from Napoleon Dynamite” levels of protection? Let’s risk it for the chocolatey marshmallow-filled biscuit and find out.Ĭompared to Chocolate or Double Chocolate Krave pieces, the bulbous graham biscuits of Krave S’Mores are much chunkier. When people spoke ill of Krave S’Mores petitions online, I “ Rickrolled” every single one of them. When kids complained to their mothers in the cereal aisle, I flipped over shopping carts to send a message. Krave in general has a dedicated camp who vocally dislike it, but as an equally vocal defender of the Krave brand, I felt the need to stand up for Krave S’Mores. Smorz fans everywhere treated Krave S’Mores like the brother-murdering, ugly Uncle Claudius of the cereal aisle. When Kellogg’s announced in 2013 that Smorz was being replaced by Krave S’Mores after 10 years as a fan favorite, tempers were more fiery than a misplaced campfire marshmallow. Of course, Smorz was resurrected this January through some happy cereal voodoo, but times were darker before then.
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